I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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