i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just puked most of my soul out..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
