can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
BRING THE BAGELS
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
