I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
