Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
