I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
