$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
