And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
