party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
