RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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