Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
