I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
