i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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