Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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