things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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