Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
