what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
