so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
