There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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