what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
