I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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