physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
