Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
