I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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