just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She bit a glass in half.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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