Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
