i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
how drunk are you?
Several
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
