Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i out mim tonsoeep
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
