Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
