Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
