Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
