would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
