I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
