I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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