I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm just crazy horny about you
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
