nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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