Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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