if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
