I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
