I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
