Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
