I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
