Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
