Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
