my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
