Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
