Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
