Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
