If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
