I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
