Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
