I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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