Nicole vs. Life
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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