Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
