i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
