Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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