Christians are straight up FREAKS
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
