Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
