it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
