I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
that is very illegal...i love you.
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