just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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