I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
